Congratulations everyone, we have officially welcomed the first day of Spring!

While we may still have a few months to go before we feel the heat or at least a change in the weather, I believe this is a great time to start preparing other areas of our life for the new season. Lets prepare, and turn the temperature up in our relationships!

In the spirit of anticipation, I’m going to be sharing some of my top tips for surviving that 1st date! In part 1 we are are going to look at the foundational stages of this date, the phone conversation, or voice messages.

Okay, so your ringing him - Should you leave a message or not?

I suggest to all our agency members that it’s best to avoid leaving a message. The reason is that men and women relate to machine messages in totally opposite ways. Women think nothing of treating anyone’s answerphone like a best friend and have few inhibitions about leaving and answering messages. Most men, on the other hand seem to be genetically programmed not to listen to their machines, even though they leave them on. As for returning messages – well, forget it. Furthermore, when he doesn’t call you back after you have left a message, it starts to become difficult. If he does actually listen (!!!) to the seveal further messages that you subsequently leave, he may feel pressured by their insistence – no matter how much he’d probably enjoy meeting you. So don’t judge a man solely on the basis of his ability to reply to phone messages. When you actually meet him, you can then decide whether or not he merits the status of ‘worth getting to know better’.

Persevere with your calls until he asnwers ‘in the flesh’ – and don’t leave a message.

So you’ve finally got through to him – What do you say in the phone call?

First make sure you pick a moment when you’re feeling good about life! Are you relaxed and rested? Never phone a potential date for the first time after a stressful day at the office unless you’ve given yourself plenty of time to wind down.

As soon as he answers in person, smile into space (to ensure your voice is warm), say who you are and immediately check if it’s a good moment for him to talk.

Now you’re actually talking – great! Keep the call short if you already know something about him (via his letter, his introduction-agency profile or the friend who introduced you) – and keep it light. Save your valuable small talk to break the ice on the date itself.

In Pt 2 we will delve deeper into issues surrounding this topic including; Where and how long should you meet, The art of seductive conversation, and What your body language might be telling your date!

Does this help? Read more in my book – Smart Dating, How to find your man.

If the idea of speed dating sounds to you like just a gimmick, you’re wrong. In fact, speed dating works wonderfully. No one can avoid being relaxed and gregarious in the hilarity that results from these fun evenings. But under no illusion can you really get to know anyone properly via these encounters. They are simply a useful way of making loads of new contacts.

There are a variety of speed-dating methods. The one we’ve used for our events involved about 40 men and women turning up at a bar furnished with tables for two. The Master or Mistress of Ceremonies is in charge of the music which is turned off at intervals for three minutes. In these intervals, couples pair off, according to a prearranged plan, at the tables with their drinks. It’s a bit like musical chairs.

With a bit of practice, you soon get into the rhythm of ice-breaking, flirting and finding out a surprising amount about your speed dates in the limited time slots. Speed dating is tremendous fun and, because its purpose is to go for volume, you can practice Domino Dating and spread your net wide.

Excerpt from ‘Smart Dating, How to find your man’.

What might be the ‘downsides’ of being on of the ‘proud to be single’ lobby? One is that you might become somewhat selfish in your mission to be uncompromisingly independent. Also, you might begin to think that it’s only through sacrificing your freedom that you can have an intimate relationship.

With the extraordinary rise of single households in recent years, people are tending to spend more time on their own than before. Could you, as a result, get too set in your ways? Might you become too fussy or even downright unrealistic about selecting a partner? Are you less able to adjust to the lifestyle changes necessitated by marriage or co-habitation – no matter how much you yearn for emotional fulfillment? How successful you are in dealing with this adjustment will depend on your strengths as an individual as well as your approach to communication. The really strong, sensitive and fulfilled woman who is also a good communicator can be a happy single or a happy partner. It’s your choice: develop your strengths or indulge you weaknesses.

“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.” Gloria steinem

Although being single is no longer automatically viewed as a state of incompleteness, most singles do eventually want to be in a relationship. However, this wish may come with conditions that can, if you don’t watch yourself, escalate in proportion to the length of time you’ve been on your own. ‘I’m certainly not desperate for commitment. I’m happy just being me – I have a wonderful life!’, ‘A committed relationship with a man would just be the icing on the cake – but he’s got to be absolutely right. No compromises for me.’ But is it ever as straightforward as this? Isn’t this rather limiting?

Guys take note: Here is how to get the number of that gorgeous girl at the next party. http://ow.ly/40Ejm

Mary Balfour met the founder of Rococo chocolates and discovered how Chocolate affects your health, relationship and sex life!

Have a look!