Love in the 21st Century

As a young single woman I admire women who graciously juggle with a 50-60- hour working week, 2 young kids and on top of that they manage to go to the gym, take 2 yoga classes a week and look amazingly radiant despite the doubtlessly hectic lifestyle. How do they do it? For most women it is indeed a struggle and sometimes circumstances mean that they end up choosing one or the other – career or family life instead of being able to successfully combine both not to mention looking after number one. However, it is increasingly in demand for women to be able to do exactly this.

Drawing down the Moon has plenty of women (and men!) in this situation – career-minded with busy social life, active hobbies but one important thing is missing, the love of their life and potentially a family. If you are a woman who feels you’d appreciate someone to guide you through how to balance it all and how to make the right choices in the first place there are some options. A seminar called Female Balancing Act held by two wonderful women Sophie Sabbage and Pascale Ascher is something we highly recommend, covering the following topics:

As a woman in business, how do you balance the demands of your professional life with your other priorities outside the workplace – your family, your friends, your own well-being and your other interests. How do you make clear and discerning choices and do so without suffering feelings of dissatisfaction, stress, guilt, grief or a sense of inadequacy or failure?

The Female Balancing Act training is a one-day seminar for women in business who want to master the balancing act and transform their ability to participate fully in the different domains of their life. During this training, you will get clearer about what you really want from your life, learn how to make choices that are in alignment with who you really are and what you believe in and then act on them with confidence, And, you will leave with tools to take back into your professional and personal life to support you going forward.

Please see details on how to book here:

http://www.drawingdownthemoon.co.uk/lifestyle/self

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012 at 6:25 pm and is filed under Dating, Dating Tips, Drawing Down the Moon, Events, General, Helpful Tips, Independent Women, Successful Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Men and their Ex-files

I have been on many dates where men have felt the urge to reveal all about their exes, how either awful or amazing they had been and what exactly they’re now looking for in a woman. Now I don’t know about you but if I hear this on a date I want to run… It’s not a first date conversation is it? You’re not there to find out about their relationship history but instead, get a little insight into what THEY are like and whether you possibly would like to see them again.

So why do so many men fall into this ‘trap’ of thinking we would find this an interesting topic on a first date? Of course there could be nerves involved which can cause people to sometimes say things they’re not meant to. However, I think more than often it probably is a case that a man has not had the opportunity to talk about his ex and how he’s felt about the break-up/divorce to anyone before. See men, unlike women, don’t often share these kind of stories with their male friends and are often left ‘brewing’ with those thoughts until the next female comes along. This is also often the reason why many men jump into a new relationship perhaps far too soon before they’re emotionally ready.

Of course, not every man is like this and I must say that on some first dates it’s been me who’s blurted out something I’ve not meant to, not because I’ve not been ready for dating but because of nerves, caused by fancying them a bit too much…!

What are you like on first dates?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 25th, 2012 at 5:45 pm and is filed under Dating, Drawing Down the Moon, Flirting, Ideal partner, Independent Women, Meeting New People, Successful Relationships, Tips for Men. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

‘Serial daters’ Vs ‘One-at-the-time daters’

I have two good male friends and one female friend who seem to have a date pretty much every other day and they love the pace! I also have 2 friends of each gender who only date very occasionally i.e. once or twice a year, but when they do they seem to have very high expectations for that one date which can easily cause unnecessary upset.

So, which formula works better? Well, if you think of dating as ‘numbers game’ which it can be, it would have to be the former which Mary Balfour calls the ‘Domino-dating’ formula: the more people you meet the more chance you have of meeting the right one. This is especially effective when using an internet dating site where it’s easy to arrange dates for every single night of the week if you’ve got the time!

What agencies like Drawing Down the Moon can do is to help people who are busy professionals who don’t have time or the inclination to scroll through Internet dating sites – people who want someone else to do the ‘leg-work’ for them.

My opinion is the more avenues you explore the better!

What would be your preference?

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 5th, 2012 at 11:39 am and is filed under Dating, Drawing Down the Moon, Mary Balfour, Matchmakers, Meeting New People, Online. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Blondes or Brunettes?

Apparently the world has become obsessed with sex. In a recent Men’s Health article Raquel Welch – one of the top 100 sexiest women in the world – recently made a comment about our current society quoting: ‘we’re all sex addicts, literally’ and that we equate happiness with the frequency of sexual activity we participate in. This made me think about how we all like to define our ‘ideal partner’ when in search of one. Does it really come down to the external factors like ‘fair hair & blue eyes’ or ‘tall, dark & handsome’ as opposed to ‘a loving, caring and intelligent equal’? Has dating become a way to find the most suitable sexual equal as opposed to an equal in every other level?

We have noticed that some Drawing Down the Moon clients, when it comes to describing their ‘ideal partner’, have become more and more specific with their requests. Men are often saying ‘I only am interested in meeting brunettes’ and women ‘I couldn’t imagine going out with someone who is only 5’8” tall (when they’re 5’2” themselves)’. Does hair colour really matter guys? And ladies, does one or two inches really make that much of a difference..?

Tags: Dating, ideal partner, men, sex, women

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 15th, 2012 at 5:02 pm and is filed under Body Language, Dating, Drawing Down the Moon, Flirting, Ideal partner, Meeting New People, Successful Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Didn’t we do well!

Last week we received some more fantastic news: two couples happily matched by Drawing Down the Moon are expecting babies and another couple are due to wed – all in the month of March! Now that is what we call job satisfaction! It’s not only the colourful dating stories we hear which enhance our working day – these genuine happy endings not only makes us feel that we’ve done our job well, but also give us an excuse to open a bottle of bubbly! Our office is absolutely buzzing when we hear of yet another dating success story.

Even with our decades of matchmaking experience, ultimately it all comes down to that elusive chemistry. The members mentioned went on a few dates before they met their ‘significant other’. Some of those previous dates were great matches ‘on paper’ but there was that special something missing.. It’s that ‘something’, that ‘chemical thing’ that makes it work. And it’s that special reaction that it creates which makes our job as matchmakers the best in the world.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 29th, 2012 at 7:15 pm and is filed under Dating, Drawing Down the Moon, marriage, Matchmakers, Successful Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Valentine’s Day…

So January is now over and, for one reason or another, most New Year resolutions have by now been broken. Be honest. Are you still going to the gym as planned? Are you still abstaining from having that glass of wine? Has chocolate crept back into your diet? Well don’t beat yourself up over it as over 75 percent of the country break their good intentions by now!

But wait, we now have to think about that one particular day a year when a) if you’re in a relationship or dating you’re probably going to need lots of extra cash to impress your partner/date or b) if you’re single or you may well be wishing you weren’t! Yes I’m talking about Valentine’s Day and it’s only 7 days away! The world of dating doesn’t get much busier than on 14th of February.

So how are you going to be spending your Valentine’s Day? If you are happily coupled up then your choices really are endless – a romantic dinner for two, a weekend in Paris, a Spa day for two – one thing is certain, you’ll be spending far more on everything (especially in London) than their normal price the remaining 364 days of the year! But when it comes to love, does cost matter?

And what if you’re single? Do you stay at home feeling sorry for your self whilst couples are out enjoying themselves? Well that could be an option, but not a very tempting one. Valentine’s Day is the one day when bars may well be full of other single people (forget restaurants, you’d be the odd one out!) so why not organise a night out with your single friends or better still, organise a singles party and get in the dating mood? If however you prefer not to celebrate with others, why not treat yourself and be your own Valentine! Have a night in with a good film and delicious food enjoying your own company. As a singleton on Valentine’s Day you do have plenty of options and with the added bonus of no need to worry about the dent in a wallet!

If however you’d prefer to spend your next Valentine’s Day with your own special someone, being whisked away to an overpriced dinner (!) why not contact Drawing Down the Moon, the professional dating service in London, as we have a special Valentine’s discount for you: 020 7224 1001 We look forward to hearing from you.

Tags: Dating, Drawing Down the Moon, professional dating, romantic dinner, single, Valentines Day, world of dating

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 7th, 2012 at 11:42 am and is filed under Dating, Dating Tips, Drawing Down the Moon, Flirting, General, Meeting New People, Valentines Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

A couple – two halves or two wholes?

Throughout history, simply in order to survive, people have nearly always had to live in some sort of group. In most societies it has been difficult for women to own property and live independently. As late as the 1960′s, a woman couldn’t usually take out a motgage or even hire a television in Britain without a man acting as guarantor. Professional women in the West now take it for granted that they will be responsibe for themselves and buy or rent their own homes, cars, pensions and holidays. Indeed, I still remember the exhilaration of walking through my own front door for the first time.

It is at last economical viable for women to live alone from choice, and many women feel good about being single for a substantial chunk of their lives. They know this doesn’t mean they are psychologically stunted or unable to make relationships. Not so long ago, most women would have felt that they were incomplete without their ‘other half’. The word ‘spinster’ has always had negative connotations of on-the-shelf failure, whereas ‘bachelor’ has virile associations and is seen in a much more positive light.

In spite of media messages urging coupledom, many women have blossomed into emotional and economic self-sufficiency without a partner.

This means that when two people do decide to come together, it’s a fusion of two wholes rather that two halves. This seems to be one of the keys to a happy and more fulfilled relationship.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 16th, 2011 at 8:21 pm and is filed under Dating, Drawing Down the Moon, Independent Women, marriage, Successful Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

Why Career Women Reject Internet Dating

The internet is creating a growing asymmetry of expectations between men and women in the dating market. Men are increasingly turning away from personal introduction agencies in order to take advantage of the cheaper, more techy and more impersonal medium of the internet agencies.

Women, on the other hand, want the greater security, ID checks and selectivity of personal agencies. That’s why there is an increasing gender imbalance in both kinds of services. And that’s why Drawing Down the Moon, adopting HR industry techniques, now headhunts for men to introduce to their high flying women members. Their team of ambassadors, working on handsome commission, seek out high calibre, relationship-minded men (and some women) in all sorts of venues: gallery openings, book launches, professional associations, sports events, gatherings of one sort or another.

MD, Mary Balfour, is ‘never off-duty’ & even recruited a lovely guy via the airport check-in queue and another via Freecycle.com – where she lost no time in enquiring whether a handsome TV director was single – she was seeking a new home for a vintage film projector!

Call us on 020 7224 1001 10.30am – 11pm 7 Days a week.

Tags: agency, Balfour, Dating, internet, introduction, Mary, Online, reject, tips, women

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 20th, 2011 at 11:50 am and is filed under Dating, Drawing Down the Moon, Mary Balfour, Meeting New People, Online, Technology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

10 Ways to Improve your Text Life

Texting, Emails, Phones & Answerphones herald new era of romantic communication…

Texting, emails, mobiles and answerphones don’t necessarily signal the death of the ancient arts of courtship and conversation as suggested by some. They are just a fun, new way for lovers to flirt and discover one another. But indeed misused they can sabotage a blossoming relationship.

Does the medium influence the message? Of course, ‘In the old days it was the seductive language of the fan, the quill pen and parchment, the mail coach transporting the love letter that served the language of lovers. On one hand the time lag meant that sentiments could have changed since penned so lovingly. On the other absence and waiting could to make the heart grow fonder ’.

The instantaneous nature of communication with modern technological toys can interfere with the gentle art of flirting if not used judiciously – be warned. But used with panache they can make great flirts out of us all.

Why text when you can speak? The great advantage of texting over speaking, whether on the phone or in person, is that you have time to think about your emotions and consider your response. The push/pull dynamic of flirting often demands something less intrusive than a phone call and yet just as immediate. A downside is that addiction to texting seriously colludes with avoidance of real emotional communication – imagine the pain of being dumped by text.

Texting, email and mobiles provide a range of options which allow today’s would-be flirt to fine tune, speed up or spin out romantic communication to great effect. Jane Austen – eat your heart out. How well are you able to juggle these techno-flirt toys to help you find your soulmate? – or do they sabotage all your romantic efforts? Here are some of Mary’s well tested tips:

1. Avoid texting a potential date you’ve never spoken to. It’s easy to project unrealistic expectations onto them only to be followed by a mega let down when you do talk or meet.

2. If you give your phone number out you could be rung OR texted, so check your answerphone has a date-friendly message on it. Many a curious potential date will check to see what you sound like before texting. Take a deep breath and smile before you record your message. Never use standard pre-recorded messages.

3. Only make phone calls or text when you’re feeling relaxed, never when you’re uptight after dealing with a problem.

4. Do keep trying on the phone till you get an answer in the flesh – avoid leaving messages – the dynamic is totally different and more electric. Of course, you’ll dial 141 first so your number doesn’t appear dozens of times on their caller display if they’re out – guaranteed to signal emotional neediness and frighten the horses.

5. Do refrain from talking more than 5 minutes for that first crucial phone conversation. Keep any texts and emails short and flirty. Leave plenty of small talk for the first date – you’ll need it then.

6. Think “friendly flirty” before you phone, email or text, i.e., playful, curious and exhilarated. (Mary has a whole chapter in her book on how to flirt with aplomb). Without being able to read someone’s body language you can’t really judge when it’s a good moment for sexy flirting – men beware! Come across too strong too soon and you’ll frighten the horses. I.e. keep sex texting and emails till you are confident that they are acceptable and giving out the right messages about what you want – a one-night-stand or a relationship?

7. Do keep all messages, texts, emails and phone conversations light. The serious stuff on what you are seeking in a relationship, why you want children soon or why you broke up with your ex are all best kept till you know one another better and you’re with them in person.

8. Never dump someone by text or answerphone – it’s really cruel and cowardly.

9. Do set up a separate email address that you just use for dating. Your signature and/or out of office replies may give out more about you than you’d want casual flirtees to know. Protect your privacy. If you are emailing someone interesting on an Internet dating site, stick to the confidential email system provided by the site – you then have an escape route.

10. Only give out mobile numbers to strangers – a safety precaution as your address can be tracked from a terrestrial number.

Do have fun! Remember the text message, the email and the phone conversation, like old fashioned love letters, are to be enjoyed and savoured in excited anticipation of real face-to-face relationships. Don’t become a serial texter or emailer.

Call us on 020 7224 1001 10.30am – 11pm 7 Days a week.

Tags: Calling, email, Flirting, Technology, texting, Voicemail

This entry was posted on Friday, January 14th, 2011 at 2:02 pm and is filed under Dating, Technology, Voicemail. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

Dating Tips for Men

How to get and survive a first date that leads to a relationship…..

There’s a fundamental biological difference between men and women – we all know this, of course, but what we sometimes don’t appreciate is that it extends to the brain. Men and women use different parts of their brains to do exactly the same things and they aren’t always compatible – a bit like the difference between a PC and a Mac!

We must recognise this in order to understand that men and women have quite different views on how the dating thing works. Here’s a handy definition of courtship that sheds some light on the issue:

‘A man chasing a woman until she catches him’

So, women are the ones who actually initiate the pick-ups, while men think they are doing it themselves – ingenious!

The simple fact is that we are also much pickier than we used to be, and have to meet many more people in the course of our dating lives in order to find the right one. The following are some tips to ease the men amongst us through this terrifying process…

1. Mary’s Domino Dating Strategy: to kick start your hunt, go for volume to get into ‘dating mode’ and create a dating ripple effect. The more practice you have the easier it gets to be relaxed and flirtatious – but don’t be a serial dater!

2. Make things happen. If you were looking for a job or a house, you’d go to experts to help you find it, whereas in affairs of the heart, we tend to sit back and wait for things to happen. Don’t. Go to singles events, use small ads and internet dating eg. LoveandFriends.com, but avoid the usual clichés when describing yourself. Personal dating agencies are best if you’re more demanding and have little time

3. Setting up a first date. Don’t sound too needy – make it at least a week ahead, make specific suggestions and avoid weekends, also films / concerts, since you can’t expect to get to know anyone in silence!

4. Keep the first date short – it will make you both look forward to the second one.

5. One of the biggest saboteurs of first dates is your answering machine. Breathe and smile before leaving your outgoing message – it makes you sound much warmer.

6. The first phone call. Keep it short – long conversations beforehand use up that vital small-talk you’ll need to ice break when you meet.

7. Get into ‘flirt’ mode by recalling a time when you felt fantastic and imagine the feeling as a colour flowing through your veins. We are all born great flirts (babies are brilliant at it!) and when you feel flirtatious, it’s infectious. Observe the body language of good flirts and emulate them – fake it till you feel it!

8. Remedy for nerves – own up to them.

9. Watch her body language rather than just her body – it tells you how you’re doing. A seductive man is aware of his own body too, so relax and make good eye contact and smile – a real smile floods your face. Don’t overdo it though – it looks needy.

10. ‘Mirror’ her body language and the tone and pacing of her voice. It’s a huge compliment and creates a good rapport.

11. Use her name. It’s flattering. But don’t overdo it…

12. Give compliments, but not overtly sexy ones.

13. Don’t talk too much about yourself. Women are good listeners, but that doesn’t mean you should abuse it (men often do), and certainly don’t talk about your exes or other dates.

14. Ask her questions about what she thinks and feels as well as facts (but don’t interrogate – it’s not an interview) and show that you have listened by bringing things up again.

15. Manners. They matter! Open doors, adjust chairs, etc. It will show you are considerate and respectful.

16. Presentation. Freshly laundered men are attractive! Grooming is not a new fad, it’s absolutely necessary. No-one wants to see dirty fingernails or greasy hair. Yuk.

17. Should you go Dutch? Judge the moment and do what feels right without putting her under pressure.

18. DO NOT sleep with her on the first few dates if you are looking for a relationship. And don’t do it casually. Anyway, not being too available is actually quite intriguing…

19. The end of the date. You should try to second-date at least half the time. Chemistry can take a while to develop, and you should encourage her to be part of this decision. If, however, you really don’t ever want to see her again, be nice and be honest and make it clear you’re seeing lots of people. Don’t rush off in embarrassment or promise to phone when you know you won’t!

20. Don’t spend your time with friends who are cynical about dating and relationships – it rubs off.

21. Tell your friends you are looking for a relationship. You never know – they know all sorts of fascinating people other than you. They could be able to help and that special woman might be closer than you think!

And Please call us for expert help on finding that special someone: 020 7224 1001

Tags: compliments, Dating, first date, Flirting, girlfriend, listening, manners, men, relationship, women

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 6th, 2011 at 8:28 pm and is filed under Dating, Helpful Tips, Tips for Men. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

Drawing Down the Moon - The introduction agency for thinking people - founded 1984

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