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Love in the 21st Century

As a young single woman I admire women who graciously juggle with a 50-60- hour working week, 2 young kids and on top of that they manage to go to the gym, take 2 yoga classes a week and look amazingly radiant despite the doubtlessly hectic lifestyle. How do they do it? For most women it is indeed a struggle and sometimes circumstances mean that they end up choosing one or the other – career or family life instead of being able to successfully combine both not to mention looking after number one. However, it is increasingly in demand for women to be able to do exactly this.

Drawing down the Moon has plenty of women (and men!) in this situation – career-minded with busy social life, active hobbies but one important thing is missing, the love of their life and potentially a family. If you are a woman who feels you’d appreciate someone to guide you through how to balance it all and how to make the right choices in the first place there are some options. A seminar called Female Balancing Act held by two wonderful women Sophie Sabbage and Pascale Ascher is something we highly recommend, covering the following topics:

As a woman in business, how do you balance the demands of your professional life with your other priorities outside the workplace – your family, your friends, your own well-being and your other interests.  How do you make clear and discerning choices and do so without suffering feelings of dissatisfaction, stress, guilt, grief or a sense of inadequacy or failure?

The Female Balancing Act training is a one-day seminar for women in business who want to master the balancing act and transform their ability to participate fully in the different domains of their life.  During this training, you will get clearer about what you really want from your life, learn how to make choices that are in alignment with who you really are and what you believe in and then act on them with confidence, And, you will leave with tools to take back into your professional and personal life to support you going forward.

Please see details on how to book here:

http://www.drawingdownthemoon.co.uk/lifestyle/self

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012 at 6:25 pm and is filed under Dating, Dating Tips, Drawing Down the Moon, Events, General, Helpful Tips, Independent Women, Successful Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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Dating Tips for Men

How to get and survive a first date that leads to a relationship…..

There’s a fundamental biological difference between men and women – we all know this, of course, but what we sometimes don’t appreciate is that it extends to the brain. Men and women use different parts of their brains to do exactly the same things and they aren’t always compatible – a bit like the difference between a PC and a Mac!

We must recognise this in order to understand that men and women have quite different views on how the dating thing works. Here’s a handy definition of courtship that sheds some light on the issue:

‘A man chasing a woman until she catches him’

So, women are the ones who actually initiate the pick-ups, while men think they are doing it themselves – ingenious!

The simple fact is that we are also much pickier than we used to be, and have to meet many more people in the course of our dating lives in order to find the right one. The following are some tips to ease the men amongst us through this terrifying process…

1.    Mary’s Domino Dating Strategy: to kick start your hunt, go for volume to get into ‘dating mode’ and create a dating ripple effect. The more practice you have the easier it gets to be relaxed and flirtatious – but don’t be a serial dater!

2.    Make things happen. If you were looking for a job or a house, you’d go to experts to help you find it, whereas in affairs of the heart, we tend to sit back and wait for things to happen. Don’t. Go to singles events, use small ads and internet dating eg. LoveandFriends.com, but avoid the usual clichés when describing yourself. Personal dating agencies are best if you’re more demanding and have little time

3.    Setting up a first date. Don’t sound too needy – make it at least a week ahead, make specific suggestions and avoid weekends, also films / concerts, since you can’t expect to get to know anyone in silence!

4.    Keep the first date short – it will make you both look forward to the second one.

5.    One of the biggest saboteurs of first dates is your answering machine. Breathe and smile before leaving your outgoing message – it makes you sound much warmer.

6.    The first phone call. Keep it short – long conversations beforehand use up that vital small-talk you’ll need to ice break when you meet.

7.    Get into ‘flirt’ mode by recalling a time when you felt fantastic and imagine the feeling as a colour flowing through your veins.  We are all born great flirts (babies are brilliant at it!) and when you feel flirtatious, it’s infectious.  Observe the body language of good flirts and emulate them – fake it till you feel it!

8.    Remedy for nerves – own up to them.

9.    Watch her body language rather than just her body – it tells you how you’re doing. A seductive man is aware of his own body too, so relax and make good eye contact and smile – a real smile floods your face. Don’t overdo it though – it looks needy.

10.         ‘Mirror’ her body language and the tone and pacing of her voice. It’s a huge compliment and creates a good rapport.

11.         Use her name. It’s flattering. But don’t overdo it…

12.         Give compliments, but not overtly sexy ones.

13.         Don’t talk too much about yourself. Women are good listeners, but that doesn’t mean you should abuse it (men often do), and certainly don’t talk about your exes or other dates.

14.         Ask her questions about what she thinks and feels as well as facts (but don’t interrogate – it’s not an interview) and show that you have listened by bringing things up again.

15.         Manners. They matter! Open doors, adjust chairs, etc. It will show you are considerate and respectful.

16.         Presentation. Freshly laundered men are attractive! Grooming is not a new fad, it’s absolutely necessary. No-one wants to see dirty fingernails or greasy hair. Yuk.

17.         Should you go Dutch? Judge the moment and do what feels right without putting her under pressure.

18.         DO NOT sleep with her on the first few dates if you are looking for a relationship. And don’t do it casually. Anyway, not being too available is actually quite intriguing…

19.         The end of the date. You should try to second-date at least half the time. Chemistry can take a while to develop, and you should encourage her to be part of this decision. If, however, you really don’t ever want to see her again, be nice and be honest and make it clear you’re seeing lots of people. Don’t rush off in embarrassment or promise to phone when you know you won’t!

20.         Don’t spend your time with friends who are cynical about dating and relationships – it rubs off.

21.         Tell your friends you are looking for a relationship. You never know – they know all sorts of fascinating people other than you. They could be able to help and that special woman might be closer than you think!

 

And Please call us for expert help on finding that special someone: 020 7224 1001

 

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This entry was posted on Thursday, January 6th, 2011 at 8:28 pm and is filed under Dating, Helpful Tips, Tips for Men. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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Picking Up at a Party: Guide for Men and Women

It’s the festive season, which means end of year gatherings, Christmas celebrations and New Year’s Eve.

Here are practical and workable guides for men and women for attracting the opposite sex successfully…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4q9ldlrJDI]

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Call us 7 days a week between 10:30am to 11pm on 020 7224 1001

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This entry was posted on Thursday, December 23rd, 2010 at 4:52 pm and is filed under Body Language, Conversation, Dating, Flirting, Helpful Tips, Meeting New People, Parties and Events. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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Informal Ways To Meet Singles

Be cheeky!

Smart singles are always ready to grab the unexpected opportunity. It used to be only men who seized chances for a chat-up line or played metaphorical footsy. Now, women are in a strong enough position to do so with stylish aplomb. So, imagination to the fore! Be ready to seize the moment. Here are some opportunities to look out for.

At the supermarket – yes, really!

The supermarket is definitely an OK place for a single soul to loiter safely and take time to select whom they wants to bump into. Our up-front chap might be heard to utter ‘Have you the remotest idea how to cook this?’ as he picks up some alien vegetable within earshot of a suitable womean. Otherwise, of course, you can simply fling all your shopping into her trolley when she’s caught up in choosing a ripe melon, discovering a minute later what a fool you’ve been to have thought her trolley was yours. In the ensuing mayhem you can decide whether it’s worth taking things further. If you’re a bit crazy, then this one is well worth trying. It works – I know; I’ve done it – ‘accidentally’, of course.

Art galleries – for old masters and new mistresses

A safe place for women to hang about in, and much more selective than the supermarket, is the art gallery. Don’t buy a catalogue just ask to take a peep at the one that belongs to the particular person on whom you have focused your curiosity while they are absorbed in studying some challenging creation. For instance, the Victoria and Albert Museum in London claims many romantic successes at its lecture evenings targeted at singles. Check out what’s available near you. Get yourself invited to private views, especially at smaller, more interesting galleries where the wine on offer facilitates mixing and mingling. Don’t pretend you know more than you do: you’ll come across as pompous and ignorant and regret it deeply. Try and ask intelligent questions – a great flirt tactic.

If music be the food of love – try concerts

Like art galleries, concerts are selective, and at least you know that you’ll enjoy the same kind of music as the people attending. At classical concerts, the ‘Please could I have a quick look at your programme’ technique works well. During the performance itself, see if you can spot an empty seat next to an unaccompanied member of the opposite sex and discreetly slip into it during the interval, asking if it’s taken and remarking on how much better you’ll enjoy the sound from your improved vantage point. Your mutual appreciation (or otherwise) of the music should do the rest!

Scoring in the street

Approach the person you fancy. You’re lost. (Make it strategically plausible!) They are outside the train station or at a bus stop or buying a newspaper. You need directions to somewhere in (what just happens to be) the same area that he might be heading – not far away. They may even be tempted to accompany you there.

Men with sweat appeal: try aviation sports – or start to run!

Do your research thoroughly here, as some activities attract more men than others. Paragliding and aviation sports are male dominated – but costly, and require some degree of bravery. My first paragliding attempt landed me in a tree, and I wasn’t even looking for a man. Sub-aqua is brilliant for encountering men, as many of the women I know can testify.

Wine Tasting

Wine tasting is a real winner. You don’t have to be a seasoned wine connoisseur. Many more women are excelling themselves as experts in this field, but it’s still very much a man’s province. Women ‘in the know’ keep secret the fact that one can meet very interesting and classy single men on wine-tasting courses. You won’t need any tips about how to get chatting – the wine will look after that, unless you’re super-correct and spit it all out (what a waste!). Shop around carefully. Christie’s and Sotheby’s, the upmarket auctioneers in London, run excellent but pricey courses. Look out, also, for courses run by the Wine Education Service – great value. The more budget-minded might investigate their local adult-education centre.

Dancing

Whether your taste is ceroc, salsa or even tango, dancing is a great way to meet unattached singles. If you’ve got two left feet (like me) and need a bit of guidance, check out classes in local clubs, gyms and adult-education centres. Dancing is also a wonderful way of working off tension, dispelling depression and keeping fit. You’ll need no tips on getting into conversation and you’ll be a wow at parties.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010 at 2:54 pm and is filed under Dating, Flirting, Helpful Tips, Meeting New People. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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Meeting Potential Partners – Why Leave it to Chance?

You are an independent person but, like all human beings, you have a need for intimacy, and an intimate relationship is maybe the best way for you to feel really fulfilled. However, it is all very well theorizing about how to make first dates and relationships work, but what if there is no one to have a relationship with.  For some people the opportunities hardly seem to exist for meeting available singles with a similar outlook and background – or do they?

It is always a source of amazement, to those of us working at my three introduction agencies, that well-organized and businesslike people behave quite out of character when faced with the need to find a mate. If you were seeking a new employee to fill the most important post in your company, the likelihood is that you’d appoint a specialist recruitment agency to headhunt appropriate candidates and/or you’d advertise and network like crazy. You wouldn’t wait for a qualified person to turn up just by accident. The same is true if you were hoping to buy a new house – the chances of stumbling upon the home of your dreams without employing an estate agent or, at the very least, looking at the property ads, are very slight indeed. However, for some unfathomable reason, when it comes to relationships it is all meant to happen by magic.

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This entry was posted on Monday, October 25th, 2010 at 2:35 pm and is filed under Dating, Drawing Down the Moon, Helpful Tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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Identifying Relationship Blockers

Any of us can have something that holds us back from taking action, and to minimize its power over us we need to confront it. What, in your present situation, is blocking change – the change from being in a single state to in a relationship?

Circumstantial Blockers

Circumstances can be relationship blockers, do you consider the particular reason for not being in a relationship is situational and not to do with you personally? – for example, if you believe that the reason is the shortage of available men in your age group.

Psychological Blockers

If you believe the block is to do with your personality and your degree of readiness for a relationship – for example, do you always choose unavailable singles? Reasons, such as ‘I’m always away on business’, may be both circumstantial and psychological. For instance, you may have chosen a particular situation, such as a career involving lots of travel (which makes partnerships difficult), as a passive resistance against settling into a relationship.

Other examples Psychological blockers can be thoughts like ‘I keep making bad decisions about relationships – they’re usually too short-sighted’ or ‘My ideas about relationships aren’t keeping up with these fast-moving times’. Or maybe you’re only choosing men because they are sexually attractive with no regard to their suitability as a long-term partner.

Physical Blockers

Is the way you look sabotaging your best chances? Do you need a presentation makeover because you have let yourself go physically? Would a good diet, a regular gym routine and a shopping spree give you extra confidence and oomph?

Habit Blockers

Habits you may have can be relationship blockers, for instance, if you drink too much on dates or if you are a smoker (a big date deterrent, by the way).

Change Blockers

If the blocker is something you’d like to change. For example, you may need to work on yourself because you believe, ‘I frighten men off’. Or perhaps it is a question of meeting only the wrong sort of men? The two problems may be distinct in concept but overlap a lot in practice. Are you the sort of person who never gets past the first or second date? Is this because you are rejecting the men at this point, or are they rejecting you – or perhaps both? In reality you are more likely to emerge with a cluster of related causes than one clear reason that can be tackled on its own.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, October 16th, 2010 at 2:23 pm and is filed under Helpful Tips, Successful Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.