Mary Balfour
used to dream about what her ideal job would entail; she
imagined herself drinking coffee on a chaise longue, meeting
new people and talking to them about their life, loves and
relationships. It occurred to her that those elements,
combined with the fact that she'd already acted as a
matchmaker (sometimes successful, sometimes not) to numerous
friends, would make a dating agency a venture she could
succeed at.
So, in 1986, newly married herself, she resigned as
head of an adult education centre and started an introduction
agency, Drawing Down the Moon, which concentrated on the
professional end of market . It is still thriving, and
she has since added more strings to Cupid's bow (and
her own) with Only Lunch loveandfriends.com (an internet
introduction agency), and a gay dating agency called Significant
Others (which she later sold). Her book , Smart Dating:
How to find your name, will be published in May (Thorsons.
£10 ).
'I think I'm good at my job because although I'm a fantastic
dreamer, I'm also realistic |
about what will work and what won't. I try to get people
to visualise the outcome they want and to think about
what obstacles they put in the way. Why are they not
in a relationship? Can the problem be resolved?
'A lot of people have unrealistically high expectations, expecting perfection from the first date. In my experience, the best way of finding the right person is to meet
lots of people who are roughly right - the more people
you meet, the greater your chances of success.
'I think, in an average life, each of us probably comes
across around 20 people we could spend the rest of our
lives with but don't recognise, either because we're
not ready, or we're too blinkered about the type of
person we're looking for. If you can find about 60 or
70 percent of what you're looking for in a person, that's good. The
person with 100 percent of the characteristics you're looking for probably doesn't exist - and if they did, you might
not like them.
'Some people argue that going to a dating agency takes
the spontaneity and romance out of the relationship.
I say that if they're serious about finding a
|
partner and it hasn't
happened yet, why not try it?
In a few months, people can compress a whole lifetime
of introductions. Also making a positive move to meet
someone means that you're open to the chances of romance,
and that makes you happier and the happier you are, the
more attractive you are. It's no coincidence that people join
the agency and then meet someone on the bus on the way
home. Really, It happens.
'Of course, we get it wrong sometimes, and people ring
up to say that a meeting didn't go well, but I don't
regard
that as a failure, more like useful feedback. Now I can
mostly tell if people aren't ready for a relationship, or
if they keep repeating the same mistake.
'How many successful relationship have we been responsible
for? Thousands, definitely. And many, many children.'
Drawing down the moon
www.drawingdownthemoon.co.uk
0207 937 6263
Love
and Friends
www.loveandfriends.com
For singles seminar
enquires.
call 020-7937-6263. |
