QUICKTIPS: Flirting

You've swapped phone numbers with a potential date who sounds intriguing, now what? Plan round the following points:

Feel flirty
 

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1. To evoke a naturally flirtatious mood, just recall a time when you felt enticingly flirty at some point in the past.  Try and evoke what it felt like, even what you saw and heard.  Give the memory a colour and enjoy imagining it coursing through your veins.    2.  Confidence, playfulness, enthusiasm and curiosity are hallmarks of great flirts.  If you are happy in yourself you will radiate flirtatiousness - practice ‘faking it till you feel it'... 3.  Practice social, as opposed to sexy, flirting in everyday life by opening conversations with strangers, friends and colleagues. Pay compliments, be curious, listen proactively, mirror body language, voice tone and pacing and you will earn plenty of brownie points. Good social flirts find gearing up into sexy flirting a doddle.

4.  Maximise your dating opportunities – the more chances you have to practise flirting, the easier it gets. 5.  Successful flirts always make the flirtee feel wonderful – make that your aim and you’ll feel wonderful too.

Talk flirty

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1. Offer a compliment – "Nice shoes", ‘That’s a cool tie’, ‘Great outfit’. It never fails. 2. Do proactive listening – reflect back something they’ve just said, but using different words ‘So you really love scuba diving…’ or ‘you reckon that it’s time you changed your job…’.  They’ll be so impressed.

3. Ask them to tell you more about something they said earlier.

4. Use their name in conversation – it creates powerful electricity.

Essential flirty body language

1. An effective smile is used sparingly, on its own, as a statement or to reinforce other messages. Let it suffuse your face after a moment’s reflection in response to something your date has said or done.  Smiling all the time looks emotionally needy

2. Women: sensuously caress your hair; play with your necklace or earring, twirl your cocktail stirrer (or whatever other small object is to hand) and you’ll give out powerful sexual signals. Men: stand or sit tall.  Arch your back. Flex your pecs and biceps. Smile – but not continuously. 3. Maintain eye contact for that millisecond longer than expected. 4. A sideways glance is very sexy and will disable a date’s defences before they realise it. This piece of body talk is particularly effective for women if emanating from behind a curtain of tousled tresses nonchalantly flung back.

5. Matching and mirroring positive body language and voice is something that happens naturally when flirt vibes are in the air.  If your date is pulling back or turning away – you’re coming on too strong – slow down, or accept they just don’t fancy you.

For heaps more tips on successful dating strategies buy or borrow my book ‘Smart Dating – how to find your man’.  It is based on what I have learned from observing the mind sets and behaviour of women who have been successful in finding love. There are enough men out there for women who are proactive and employ my ‘Domino Dating Strategy’. The fruit of 18 years of matchmaking, ‘Smart Dating’ tells you how to compress a lifetime of dating opportunities into just a few months. 

Read it now.